Slight Pause

I’d had a blog post planned and almost completely written, when last night I received news that one of my friends died on Tuesday. He had cancer that he wouldn’t get treated (he tried a couple of times, but couldn’t hack it through all the rounds of chemo) so it wasn’t like it completely blindsided me, but it was still pretty disheartening. He made it longer than doctors predicted. His boyfriend has apparently deactivated the facebook account already, so now all the pictures of him, his comments, our conversations are completely gone. I have a few texts and his phone number, that’s all (which probably doesn’t work anymore, if the facebook is already gone). It’s like his presence is completely scrubbed from existence. I feel … uncomfortably numb, if I may alter a Pink Floyd song title.

I’m trying my best to not let this drag me down into a fit of depression. This weekend, I have some things to take care of, and I may do some additional writing, but I’m not planning on posting anything until next week at the earliest.

Namaste, and blessed be.


One thought on “Slight Pause

  1. I am very sorry to learn of your loss, and can fully understand your wanting to take time. I can also understand the decision made by your friend’s boyfriend, in deactivating the Facebook account. I looked something up, since I do not use Facebook, and learned that Facebook does have an export feature: perhaps you could ask for a copy of the exported file? The only problem is that Facebook’s export feature doesn’t allow one to select individual posts, comments or files, it all gets exported together. Still, it might be worth asking. At the very least, it might be something for your friend’s boyfriend to consider doing for himself.

    I agree that you shouldn’t let this drag you into a depression – I strongly suspect this is the last thing your friend would have wanted for you or any other of his loved ones. At the same time, you should allow yourself to grieve, as grief and depression don’t have to walk hand-in-hand; and suppression of grief can be a faster route to depression than many might think.

    Someone once told me, as I was saying good-bye to a friend who was moving half-way around the world, that it is always hardest on those left behind, than it is for those who are going to a life somewhere else. The same perspective holds true in this kind of situation. Your departed friend is now among ancestors and spirits who are no doubt quite happy to welcome him among them. He is without pain and without sorrow now. He has many new things before him now; while his loved ones who are still here must learn to deal with life without his familiar presence.

    I look forward to reading more from you, once you have decided it’s time to resume posting to your blog. For the time being, I wish you and your friend’s loved ones peace and recovery.


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